EVOLVE's Only Unbreakable Rule
We try to keep things fun around here. Abby will be the first one to tell you that she doesn’t like rules. But, we have one important and unbreakable rule for all members and staff:
Negative self talk, body image, and food comments are off limits in the gym. Positive (or neutral) self talk and body-neutral conversation only.
Why is this our most important rule? Because negative self talk, body-image, and food-related comments are perhaps the two things that can derail your or someone else's progress, motivation, and self-esteem quicker than anything else.
At EVOLVE, we practice “Health at Every Size.” This means that your health, happiness, and self-worth are not determined by how you look. Rather, your health is determined by your behaviors. And, you inherently have tremendous self-worth, no matter what.
Negative self talk is far too common in gyms. This can show up in a lot of ways. Sometimes it’s comparing yourself to others (“I could never lift as much as him/her.”) Or, it’s downplaying your accomplishments (“Yeah, I ran for the first time in months this weekend. But it was only 3 miles, that’s nothing compared to most Flagstaff runners.”) Or, it’s simply expressing that you aren’t inherently good enough (“I just can’t do push ups”).
When we frame things with negative self talk, it sends our brain an underlying message that we can’t or won’t succeed. This makes it more likely that we’ll eventually just give up. We’re also making a statement about ourselves, and simultaneously undervaluing the hard work of those around us. For example, if you say in your first month in the gym, “I could never lift as much as him/her,” you are not only limiting your own potential, but you are also failing to recognize that the other person probably got to where they are through hard work and struggles of their own.
Similarly, body-image related comments, either positive or negative, have no place in the gym. This should be obvious for negative body image comments. Don’t put yourself or others down! Life is hard enough as it is.
But, it’s important to realize that seemingly well intentioned body-related comments can also have unexpected consequences. We’ve heard too many stories about individuals who were complimented for weight loss, when that weight loss was actually due to an eating disorder, cancer, or the death of a loved one.
Rather than commenting on someone’s body (or your own body), comment on literally anything else! Here are a few examples:
You worked so hard today -- you’re an inspiration!
It seems like you barely ever skip a workout -- your consistency is amazing!
I love your shoes!
That exercise was tough! I want to get better at it.
Research actually shows that when we refrain from using body-image comments in the gym, adherence and consistency to exercise improves.
Finally, while exercise goals related to aesthetics and body image are not always bad, we do not encourage these types of goals at EVOLVE. Why? Because, what happens when you reach that goal? Or, if you don’t reach it? Will you stop exercising? How will your life change?
Also, we think that one of the most damaging myths in the fitness industry is that your body shape, size, and appearance are completely under your control. Unfortunately, they are not. Factors such as genetics and your childhood exercise history are much larger determinants of your body composition.
We prefer to tie goals to behaviors and activities, rather than body image. We target behaviors and activities that we know influence our health and well being. So, rather than “I want to lose 25lbs,” we could set a goal of, “I want to come to 3 classes per week.” Or, rather than “I want to put on 15 lbs of muscle,” we could set a goal of, “I want to squat 155lbs and bench press 85lbs, 10 times each.” These goals are much more actionable, and can help to create real behavior change and improvements in health.
We could go on for pages and pages about this one. If you have questions, we would love to continue the conversation. But, please abide by our only unbreakable rule when at EVOLVE:
Negative self talk and body image comments are off limits in the gym. Positive (or neutral) self talk and body-neutral conversation only.
Want to learn more about health at every size, and counteracting damaging diet and fitness cultures? Check out these links: